Bug Bite Venom Remover
You know the whole idea that if a snake bites you on the ass you need someone to man up, pucker up, and suck the poison out? Well, that’s snake venom and without the anti-venom, that person is literally kissing your ass goodbye. Snake venom enters your blood stream pretty much right away and starts your eminent demise.
Bug bites on the other hand are pretty localized. Mosquitoes for example use their tiny hell spawned hypodermic needle mouthparts to inject the world’s most annoying itch toxin right below the surface of your skin. It also happens to be one of the most toxic bites known to man. That little bastard is responsible for more deaths than every dictator throughout history, combined. Mosquitoes are basically Hitler times a million.
Unfortunately, the only remedies so far post-bite have been ointments and creams that do little in the way of helping the bites heal. They simply numb the area so you don’t know the toxins are in you or use an antihistamine to help fight the itching sensation. All of such options still leave that festering demon juice in your body. That is until now. This little device, aptly named the Bug Bite Thing, sucks the little blood suckers poison right out of the bite. It doesn’t use batteries either so it won’t die on you when you need it most, much like your wife’s typical horror stories of not being able to find batteries when you are unable to put a smile on her face. And unlike her, this thing will keep sucking for years to come after you make the commitment to keeping it around.
Don’t believe me? Take a look at these before and afters:
Yeah, this thing really works. We’d try pretty much anything to prevent bug bites. Since we are short on a genetic engineering budget to go full scale genocidal maniac on all such insects and since lubing up with itch creams doesn’t really work, the Bug Bite Thing really is the best option out there. From mosquitoes, ants, bees and wasps, this little sucker has you covered. You’re welcome in advance.